Pee-Wee's Porno Playhouse Past

Paul Reubens, aka Pee-Wee Herman, is best known for jerking it old school: in an adult movie theatre (pre-Internet, these were actual public places you had to go to which were your only option for watching porn while visiting your parents) and without having any of it captured for posterity on a phone (in those days, not only did phones not have cameras, but they also could not be removed from your home to which they were attached by a wire -- seriously!).  Because this all happened when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, there are no pics to post, other than the unfortunate mugshot (which arguably did more damage to his career than what he was arrested for).  Yet, here we are, still talking about Paul Reubens' pee-wee, even though it remains a figment of our imaginations and all he was accused of was jerking off.  Alone.  With nobody but the police watching.  Then, it ruined him; today, it wouldn't rate a headline on Entertainment Tonight.  Now we not only expect our celebrities to have interesting sex lives, we demand to see the proof.  Still, Paul maintains his innocence (and it totally makes sense he'd go to all the trouble of driving to an adult movie theatre and buy a ticket to sit alone and not jack off) to Playboy:

"Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters & Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation, the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand. I'm right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn't have been me."

I guess you can't blame Reubens for not wanting to be a celebrity cock-cranking crusader fighting for the rights of men everywhere to thrash themselves in theatres.  And it's charming -- even quaint -- that he still denies it.  But that's his defense?  Maybe his solo-sex life just isn't that interesting, after all.