Saturday, November 27, 2010

Very Important Penis: Tim Oakes

We welcome Tim Oakes to the VIP section!  "Tim who?", some of you might be asking.  Our most favorite Brit ever, Tim is the excellently hung captain of the Sandbach rugby team and back in '07 he and his mates starred in an episode of the UK reatlity show Generation Xcess, a look into the bad, awful, terrible and very, very sexy nightlife of British twentysomethings.  In Tim's episode, he and his entire rugby team took to the town (after an invigorating group shower), got ever-increasingly pissed and -- in various pubs filled with strangers and with videocameras trained on their every move -- stripped themselves and each other, vigorously made out, bit and licked each others' nipples, slapped each others' asses, and wanked each others' willies.  No one can say these young men -- none of whom are gay -- aren't the epitome of open-mindedness.

The end of the program's episodes always featured the young adults watching their night out replayed for them on video with the idea that they will be ashamed of themselves and repent.  In Tim's episode, he and his mates thought what they did the night before looked even better the second time around and couldn't wait to do it again.  Tim, admiring his own enormous equipment, even happily reassured the audience at home that "the camera doesn't lie".
As if that weren't enough, Tim followed up his fifteen minutes of fame by posing naked and erect for an online forum for gay men who are fans of UK celebrities.  Did I mention he was naked and erect?


Since then, candid shots have constantly surfaced of him being naked or nearly so while hugging or cuddling his mates, wearing various roger-revealing items and even sitting on a toilet.


About the only thing the public hadn't seen from Tim was him masturbating his uncut monument to manhood in extreme close-up to a geyser of a climax.

Guess what?

After weeks of rumors, that video has finally surfaced.  Tim insists he didn't know he was broadcasting to all of Cam4 when he was on his webcam, thinking it was just to one special and very, very, very lucky lady.  Well, he was wrong and now the whole world is lucky.


Tim Oakes has a lifetime pass to our VIP section.  And he's always welcome to bring his friends.  Is it too late for me to take up rugby?

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